“I’m sure you’ll understand my point of view.”
Easter may have been Sunday, but it seems as though Jesus ain’t the only one rising from the dead this month. Today the news blog Twirlit has reported that despite supposedly drowning during a fishing trip near San Pedro, CAlifornia five years ago, Olivia Newton-John’s former boyfriend Patrick McDermott appears to be alive and working in Mexico. No comment from Newton-John, but while they may have been “hopelessly devoted to” each other for nine years, she’ll be celebrating her second wedding anniversary with second husband John Easterling this July.
SO – not like you care or anything, Patrick Kim – as you’ve reverted back to your given surname – but she’s moved on. She will not be begging, “Please Mr. Please.” You are no longer “The One That [She] Want”s. Understand? Do you need me to pun any more song titles?
Stay hidden, bitch. Stay down there and “live [your] life in peace and harmony…in [the] new place[,] both physically and mentally[,] ” that you’ve found for yourself. She gets it. We get it. “Dateline”-employed private investigator Philip Klein gets it.
Now quit listening, because I gotta say – of course this is sure to sting a bit. Danny Zuko may have hurt Sandy Olsson’s frilly feelings when he thought he was as too cool for their “Summer Loving” as he was for Rydell High School, but faking your death instead of facing your girlfriend and breaking up with her like a decent, honest human being is beyond selfish. On that note:
ATTN: future lovers,
If you so much as THINK about taking a page out of his logbook, I’ll kill you my damn self. We don’t even need to go all the way west to the Santa Monica Pier. I have a bathtub.
Back to O N-J, the real zinger is that both Twirlit and Pop Eater cited her popular relevance as “Grease.” That was just the beginning, fools. “Physical” was released three years later and went double platinum. Wikipedia says the title track was the biggest song of the decade. For Gawd’s sake, in 2008 Billboard Hot 100 ranked it No. 6 among all songs charted in their 50 year history.
For a site sporting the tag line “what women really want,” you’d think Twirlit would show a feminine icon some love. In her time of need, at least. Ladies – ladies, ladies. Don’t MAKE me “get physical.” You know I got it in me.
And my costume closet.
Just kidding. I had to leave that wig behind when I moved to Los Angeles. BUT – my allegiance is forever “Big and Strong.” That ain’t no “Rumour.” Nuh-uh. And if you don’t believe me, well, you can “Get Out.” Just, just GET OUT!
OMFG
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