Hope unmasked.
“Kick-Ass,” Hollywood’s latest comic book adaptation, is just that – kick-ass. It is not the Tarantino-esque violence, however, that most warrants the hyphenated adjective. It’s not the crisp cinematography nor the swift, yet suspenseful pace of the plot, either. No, what struck me the deepest in this stunning work of cinema is the message of hope.
He’s the Obama of superheroes, Dave Lizewski. A combat novice with no semblance of magical powers. Yet, the tragically natural omnipresence of human cruelty and injustice is enough to prompt this ordinary New York City high school student to strive for change by transforming himself into a wet suited crime fighter.
If only we could all be so brave. Los Angeles – or the “Gang Capital of the Nation,” as Wikipedia describes our city – could certainly use a Kick-Ass. Fear of a Hit-Girl might even prompt the Crips and Bloods to ban together. Alas, the Big Daddies already patrolling the streets at night are only in search of sexual deviants, those who freely rob themselves of their own dignity in exchange for a glimpse of a designer lifestyle.
I can almost certainly say I’d never sign on as some older gent’s boi toi; but I’d be more inclined to don a cape and pose for tourist shots on Hollywood Boulevard than administer vigilante justice. That’s not to say I have gone uninspired. “Kick-Ass” reminds us that much of what we thought to be impossible is really just out of reach. And if relatively unimpressive teenage nerd Dave Lizewski can all but free his hometown from the oppressive clutches of organized crime, I can coax Aaron Johnson, the actor who portrays him, into falling in love with non-famous me.
Alright, okay – according to his IMDb profile he’s actually engaged and expecting a child with Sam Taylor-Wood who directed him in the upcoming John Lennon biopic, “Nowhere Boy.” Shame she got there first. I’ve only got three years on him, but 24 years her junior, he clearly likes ‘em older. And female, I suppose. Shoot. There is that, too.
Regardless, like his most recent namesake character, I will not be deterred. Aaron Johnson might be straight and spoken for, but the thrill of my momentary crush wasn’t really about him. Actually, a fame fetishist though I may appear to be, it’s not about securing the affections of any well known figure.
Principles aside, it’s exciting to think that my chances of engaging in an Eiffel Tower with two closeted male sex symbols are exponentially higher than any other gay not living in Los Angeles. The fact that this city is home to such a broad spectrum of humanity, however, that the population amongst which we may encounter love is so diverse – that is what is most titillating. That is kick-ass.
psh. engaged? thats basically single.
and expecting? i cant tel lyou how many "baby daddys" i've dated.