Aside from the highest concentration of moderately autonomous and non-homeless CLINICALLY INSANE people – the only other downside I’ve found about frequenting the $0.99 Store is that it appears to be one of the only food retailers left in the first world that sells items full of TRANS FAT.
Who even thinks to look for that anymore? I don’t! It didn’t even cross my mind until after I’d bitten into the little coconut, shortbread devil.
Now…I suppose could have stopped there, spit out that bite, and threw away the package. I suppose I didn’t have to finish that first cookie, much less pick up a second. BUTIDID, alright? I ate two of those heart-clogging, diabetes-prompting, bad cholesterol creating mother fuckers.
And you know what? I kinda liked it.
Only kinda, though. Now, 13 minutes later, I feel like I need to head back to the gym for the second time tonight. And that I took 123 days to a whole year off of my life.
UHHH. GRRR. DAMMIT!
Fucking trans fat, (wo)mannn – it’s the crack cocaine of 2011. Yeah…YEAH! Let’s blame the government:
STEP UP YOUR GAME AND ACTUALLY SAVE THE OBESE, Michelle Obama.
Failing to move your car in time for street cleaning: $60.00.
Reason being the reception of an 8 a.m. rim job: WORTH IT.
It’s like…I’m inside… a giant, glass, of waaater, I thought, standing motionless in the shower, Saturday night.
Yeeeahhh. Akin to the moment of realization that you are finally falling asleep, it is when the crazy, arduous to articulate thoughts begin that you also know you’re…
What was I typing about?
Whether you frequent the club scene or dance alone in your kitchen – chances are high that you have grooved to at least one of Australian act, Miami Horror’s catchy new hits from their debut album, Illumination.
Reporting on behalf of Saturday Night Magazine, last month, I heard from founder and lead, Benjamin Plant, after their first ever L.A. performance.
Click on over to discover what he has to say about their genre, how he fits into dem skinny jeans, and which eccentric, niche celebrity the band got to hang out with while they were here.